The gym represents so many things to different people. For some, it is a safe haven after a taxing day at work. For others, it is a glorified happy hour to pick up dimes (chicks). But for most, the gym is an ally to fight that never ending war: “The Battle of the Bulge.”

Whether you’re a weekend warrior at Average Joe’s Gym or a meat-headed freak from Globo Gym, there are a few rules of etiquette to follow so you don’t end up being “that guy.”

The Fashion Show

Loose clothing is optimal. CLEAN shirts, sweatpants, athletic shorts, and sneakers will do. Please leave the cutoff jean shorts and pajama pants at home.

Wipe Me Down

Imagine Patrick Ewing at the foul line in triple overtime. Now imagine Patrick Ewing bench pressing and no ball boys there to wipe up his mess. Kinda gross. Most gyms have brown paper towels for a reason, so use them when needed or bring your own towel.
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There are a few to tide you over for now. I have been known to do a few of them myself. I have forgotten to wipe a machine down after pulsating massive quantities of digga sweat all over it. I try to remember, but the duty just evades me sometimes. I try to put the weights back in the right place, but the same thing as before, I get all wound up in trying to do my routine that I forget. I do at least put them back on the rack, sometimes on top of other weights that I have no business lifting, which is just about everything over 65 pounds.

Click on Mr. Roids for the rest of the list.